Sexy Umbra Wizard 2: The Sexy Umbran Familiar
by Tremor230
Summary: READ THIS PLEASE:, I need constructive criticism to fix this before I erase everything and start over from zero. Never done a "Fanfic/Regular Show" Crossover before and need serious help to do this. Basically: another girl that is not Louise summons OP Luis Umbra(Naruto) as her Familiar. not full "bashing" of Louise, this is a CrackFic with plot. AU/OOC/M-rated.
1. Chapter 1

**I AM NOT FORGETTING MY STORIES! BUT I NEED HELP IN DOING THIS! IT'S THE FIRST TIME I DO A CROSSOVER WITH MYSELF! HOW CAN I DO THIS IN A GOOD WAY? CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM... _GENTLE_ CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM IF I CAN BE SO BOLD TO ASK...  
**

 **This is an hard one: taking a " _version_ " of Naruto from one of my own stories and use him as a Familiar...sounds bound to fail if you ask me as only the ones already following my stories may have an easier time in understanding, but I'll try to explain as well as I can.**

 **Can it still be called OOC if the " _Naruto_ " here come from other fanfictions instead of Canon?**

 **The Familiar is "** _Luis Umbra_ **" (From " _The Sexy Umbra Wizard"_ \- _Naruto/ Bayonetta Crossover_ ) a Naruto ' _Blood_ _Adopted'_ by Jeanne and Hanzou the Salamander as their son thanks to the Shinigami that had a grudge against Minato for surviving the Kyuubi sealing thanks to a loop-hole in the rules. **

**Long story short, I created a fic with the cliché " _Naruto has a sister and he has only Kyuubi's soul_ and yadda, yadda, yadda"...The peculiar thing was that I made a story that was half _Crackfic_ and half...okay it was a crackfic with plot, but people seems to like it, so here we are with a sort of " _Spiritual Sequel"_ or something _._**

 **Will probably attract Flamers here and in the original story, but I came to accept it as inevitable.**

 ** **New Feature! Tr230's l** **ittle rant** **s** **:** **Why in every Fanfic in the "** ** _Familiar of Zero"_** **section** **I see there is the** ** _Alternative Familiar_** **get** **ting** **scared of Louise's mother Karin? Who is she to be so terrifying? She is just a bitch with a pole shoved up her ass** **and** **with a deranged view of life (** ** _"Rule of Steel"..._** **bunch of bullshit).****

" **You** **bastard"** \- demon talking / jutsu

"Let's finish this" - dialogue

" _Can it get any worse?_ " - during flashback

" Not so easy after all " - thoughts

 **Pairing: doing this I am not "Ignoring" the "Canon" pairing of my original story, so We'll have:**

 _ **Luis Umbra (AKA Naruto) / Kirche.**_

 ** _T_ _iffania_ too? Please?**

 _ **Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or Zero no Tsukaima (Familiar of Zero) or whatever I will use and I already used in this or any other story I write, wrote and will write nor I did this for money or any sort of compensation. Thank you for your time.**_

 **A word of advice, Naruto here will act _slightly_ different from Canon due to not being the " _Original one"._ **

**Chapter 1: Familiar of Zero? Nope! Kirche No Tsukaima, baby!**

 **Elemental Countries – Rain Village – ' _Naraka Club'_ Pub -**

It was a calm morning of Monday in the remote shinobi Village of Rain, so calm in fact that the Kage himself Hanzou was sitting on a stool of the pub owned by the infamous Umbra Clan (of which his own son was the Heir) with an utterly bored expression on his face as he stood with his face glued to the top of the counter while lightly playing with the umbrella of his...tenth? Twentieth?... _Who cares_ -th drink.

"I am bored, Rodin." the man said grumbling.

"Big deal! After the mess with Jeanne's little trip to Inferno things got even more quiet, the disappearance of ' _The Eyes of the World'_ has thrown both Paradiso and Inferno into a frenzy of fear, now both realms have locked the door of their realms and not even  I can enter there... _Tch!_ It's the first time I fail visiting both places." the tall, black-skinned barman answered unconcerned.

"At least the brat got to have some fun," the man known as ' _the Salamander'_ said.

"Storming Inferno to get back his mommy's soul is hardly fun, he tore his way in there like a madman and exterminated everything he saw in there...at least I had the time to put some souls aside for my toys thanks to that." Rodin said smirking darkly.

"And in the end I was the one to find dear Jeannie." a new voice said as a woman with spiky black hair entered the local.

"Bayonetta-san." Hanzou greeted her without lifting his head.

"Babe. I still say you looked better with long hair," Rodin added already with a glass of wine in his hand for her.

"Changing style once in a while never hurts...Luka? Hurry up with my bags!" the Umbra witch said as a man with a long scarf stumbled in the pub with a mountain of boxes covering his whole body leaving only his legs visible.

"Am I going the right _waaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!"_ the former reporter (now owner of Konoha's version of the ' _Naraka Club'_ Pub) had the time to say before missing the small step after the door and fly inside the local.

"If you were planning to crash on the floor...then yes, you got it right." Hanzou answered chuckling.

"Asshole..." Luka muttered as he dug his way from under the avalanche of boxes.

"This is why I prefer going shopping with a shinobi, sealing scrolls make everything easier." another woman, this time with long platinum hair, said as she entered the Pub followed by a young man with similar hair.

"Yup! Even if carrying six scrolls is still a bother, kaa-san." the young man answered snorting.

"Don't be like that and help your mommy sort through all her stuff, Luis." Bayonetta said smiling.

"Aye-aye! Still gotta say you and Jeanne-kaasan are monsters when it comes to assaulting shops," Luis answered defeated.

"I just like to look my best, and you too should try to change style at least once." the long-haired woman, Jeanne, answered shaking her head.

"I'll try, I'll try. But not today, mom!"

"I am happy to hear you all had fun..." Hanzou said sarcastic.

"I had not fun!" Luka said whining.

"...But the fact remains that I am still fucking BORED!" the Kage of Rain said while completely ignoring Luka.

"Yar problem, mate! Not something I care about."

"That voice..." Bayonetta said with a raised eyebrow.

"Yep, Love! Guess who's back!" a young boy said with a proud smirk.

"Little one! It has been a lot of time, you grew-up fast." Bayonetta said chuckling.

"It was an emergency, so I had to ' _Speed-up'_ things."

"We have met the pipsqueak on the way back and brought him with us, he said he needed a favour." Luis answered shrugging.

"Hey! I am not a pipsqueak, ya punter!" the boy said.

"Sorry, but if your head reach only my hip...you are a pipsqueak." Luis answered.

"What are you doing here, Loki?" Rodin asked groaning.

Loki had ice blue eyes and silver hair done up in corn rows, a blue mark on his forehead, dark skin tone and he was wearing a green and yellow sleeveless hoodie with baggy orange pants, as well as various gold jewellery and what looks like prayer beads near his shoes (teal and white sneakers, partly covered by his pants) and a pair of goggles hanging around his neck.

"I have found someone holding the power of the Void...basically a watered-down version of my old powers and I need one of you to act as her Familiar to keep her safe until I will be able to teach her how to control them for good." Loki asked.

"Why? And why us?" Luis asked curious.

"Well...it's embarrassing..." Loki said scratching the back of his head.

"Spit it out, Little One." Bayonetta said.

"I had...a _Thing_ with a woman some time ago...let's say some thousands of years ago..."

"What?" Luis asked.

"The midget here is...used to be...whatever...technically he is a deity that is able to reincarnate himself through the ages, so when he had that ' _thing_ ' with the woman he was an adult." Rodin explained.

"Yeah...but she forgot to tell me she was pregnant when I left." Loki muttered.

"..."

"...You ran away." Jeanne said breaking the short silence in the Pub.

"I DID NOT!" the boy said with a very red face.

"Admit it, everyone knows that Gods like to get dirty with mortal women and spread around children because they do not think about protection." Luka said crossing his arms.

"Well it was not my intention, okay!? I am still recovering my memories after my breaking my soul in half and the following trip through time so when I finally remembered it was too late and six thousand years had passed from my supposed ' _death'_ and-"

"You faked your death?! Sorry, but that is not helping me in believing you did not run away as soon as you saw she was pregnant," Luis said shaking his head.

"Ya know, mate? I think I am fucking hating you right now." Loki answered indignant.

"Well, unfortunately for you, he is actually the only one that can go being that girl's Familiar...I don't like being the submissive one in a relationship." Bayonetta said shrugging.

"WHAT?!" Loki yelled with wide eyes.

"Sorry, pal! I got a Pub here and one in Konoha to keep track of, I won't leave behind heavily-drinking and paying ninjas to play nanny." Rodin added grunting.

"Not a warrior! Don't look at me!" Luka said rising his hands.

"Ow, Come on!"

"I had enough troubles in Inferno and with fighting your evil half thank you, I need a vacation," Jeanne said.

"I have a Village to rule, brat! Don't even try to sign me up for that!" Hanzou said growling.

"...And you?" Loki muttered with a grimace while looking at Luis.

"May as well, how's you great-great-great...whatever. how's her?" he asked smirking.

"What do you mean?" the boy asked with narrowed eyes.

"He means that he wants to know if she is good-looking...you are not planning to add a new girl to the group, right?" a bun-haired girl marching inside the pub asked with a venomous tone.

"Come on, Tenten-chan! You know me!" Luis said.

"Yes, I know EXACTLY how you act." the former weapon mistress of Konoha (now of Rain) answered.

"This lack of faith in me is disturbing, Ten-chan!" the Umbra boy said whining.

"You married me, your ' _Former-sister'_ Minako and your ' _Former-mother'_ Kushina (Hokage of Konoha)...I know that you will try and seduce her too, and I hate having more competition with hussies trying to take away my ' _Luis-time'_ from me." Tenten answered.

"Shite, mate! Your mother and sister? That's sick!" Loki said horrified.

"Former mother and sister...I got blood-adopted by Jeanne and Hanzou, I no longer have blood-ties with them so is not incest." Luis answered crossing his arms.

"Who did the ritual? Blood-adoption is old-school stuff."

"The Shinigami, turning me from being _Naruto Namikaze_ into _Luis Umbra_ in exchange of a small favour."

"The Shinigami...where did I heard that name before?"

"The idiot that got summoned for free to seal away the Power and Soul of a giant nine-tailed fox in two infants and failed to reclaim the Soul of the summoner because of a loop-hole in the rules." Rodin answered.

"OOOH! _THAT_ idiot! So you are the guy who resolved the issue..." Loki said impressed.

"Yep! That's me." Luis answered smirking.

"FINE! I can accept your help. The other descendants of the woman do not interest me as I was not the one to conceive them, I had already split myself in two by the time I had _MY_ heir...Apparently my other half is to blame for the others according to _his_ memories, the wanker slept with a bunch of women and _HE_ ran away from the pregnancies." Loki answered.

"You sure that's the truth? We won't judge. Too much." Bayonetta asked teasingly.

"I am not going to answer to that provocation, Love. So? Can you people help me or not?"

"Deal! You give me a nice adventure and I'll protect your heiress." Luis said.

"But no adding her to the Harem!" Tenten added rapidly.

"I won't add her." the Umbra wizard said sighing.

"Promise!" the girl ordered.

"I promise I won't add her...unless she is a bombshell with a sexy body, a playful personality, exotic looks and she likes to party..." Luis said.

"I think I can accept that! What are the chances of her being like that after all?" Tenten said satisfied.

"Near zero I say. Tell you what, if she is exactly like that I swear I'll eat my scarf!" Luka added smirking.

"Better than nothing then. Whatever...I'll open a portal in the moment in which she is starting the summoning, you'll take the place of the Familiar she would have summoned had I not intervened...remember she doesn't know about the power of Void inside her, if the chance presents itself break the news to her...gently," Loki said as a wide ' _door'_ of blue smoke appeared in front of the group.

"Can I still come back here?" Luis asked.

"Eh! I may not be able to enter Paradiso and Inferno anymore, but the gates I can open towards here still work like a charm, feel free to come back for supplies and meet the family, Luis. Like hell I will deal with your mother alone." Rodin answered smirking.

"There! The portal reached the land of Tristain, we should shortly see her. I am a little curious myself." Loki said as a giant construction came into view.

"...Daaamn...Hogwarts much?" Luka said with a low whisper.

"I may or may not have ' _sold'_ some details about my time in there..." the young god muttered sheepishly.

"Figures. Who's the brat?" Tenten asked.

" _ **Pentagram of the Elements**_..." a voice said from the portal.

"Another language, you know what to do." Jeanne said.

"Yes, **translation spell** , I know! I remember my lessons, Kaa-san." Luis said sighing, said that he just snapped his fingers once in front of each ear and once in front of his tongue making runes flash momentarily on his flesh before disappearing.

"There she is!" Loki said happily as the image settled on a buxom teen girl with fiery red hair.

" _ **I,**_ _ **Kirche Augusta Frederica von Anhalt-Zerbst**_ _ **summon thee, my Familiar! Appear before me!**_ " the girl said with a wicked smile on her face as she stood proudly in front of the portal.

"..."

" _ **Come on, darling! Come out and don't be shy! It will be lots of fun!**_ " Kirche said with a teasing wink.

"Dark skin, big boobs, teasing smile, exotic look and playful personality. Full marks." Rodin said snorting.

"...OH BABY, YEAH!" Luis yelled with a wide smile on his face.

"JUBILEUSDAMMIT!" Tenten shrieked in rage.

"Do you want some salt with that scarf, Luka?" Hanzou asked smirking.

"Just shut up, you old lizard!" Luka said with a whine as he collapsed on a near stool.

"Eh! She inherited my eyes and good looks, I am impressed." Loki said proudly.

"Well, if you don't mind, I'll be going! Rodin? Are my guns ready?" Luis asked cracking his neck.

"Yep! ' _ **Twister Sisters**_ _ **'**_ are all checked and fine, remodelled into being a red version of my pride and joy the ' _ **Love is Blue**_ _ **'**_ guns just like ya asked. Don't break them or I'll get mad." the barman said launching four race-red over-sized guns at the young man.

"With how sturdy the shit they are made of is, that would be quite the achievement." the Umbra wizard answered positioning the two guns ' _ **Chun-li**_ _ **'**_ and ' _ **Morrigan'**_ on his heels while keeping ' _ **Samus'**_ and ' _ **Tifa'**_ strapped to his hips.

"The gloves, brat! Explosive cards are useful too," Hanzou said throwing a pair of elegant white gloves to the young man.

" _ **Dandy Man**_...how can I forget that. Thanks, pops!" Luis answered smirking.

"You know how to fully summon _**Mistress Cleopatra**_ now, let her help you in case of need." Jeanne instructed with an hard stare.

"Just like with the _**Fox-within,**_ the _**Dove-within**_ , the _**Wasp-within**_ and the _**Ray-within**_ if I am under-water, I know!" he answered rolling his eyes.

"Then you are ready, go and make me proud!" Hanzou said rising his new glass to the young man.

"Check here regularly, otherwise your girls will hunt you down." Bayonetta added stage-whispering making Tenten grow red-faced in anger and embarrassment.

"Ookay! Time to shine!" Luis said as he entered the portal with a wide smile.

 **Meanwhile – Tristain academy of Magic – (I am lazy, same intro of Op Familiar) -**

Tristain Academy of Magic: Tristain's first and foremost Academy of Magic that side of the known land, a place where Nobles of any stature from minor families to literally young princes and princesses were taught and nurtured into being the next great generation to fill the ranks of nobility ever since the dawn of _Brimirric Magic_.

Pretty much the biggest concentration of stuck-up, spoiled brats on that planet's main continent, whatever; at the moment the second year group was amassed outside the school to partake into one of the most important ritual of the school the ' _ **Springtime Familiar Summoning Ritual'**_.

As per tradition the second-year students were requested to summon a familiar Spirit to show their predisposition to Magic, their eventual Elemental Affinity should it still be unknown, and even gauge current _Power_ thanks to the actual Power of said Familiar, though the latter was more of a rumour to help families have bragging rights about their Heirs summoning powerful beasts as their Companions.

A familiar was by all means a second set of eyes and ears, meaning that said beast could _"Share"_ its senses to help its summoner, following its Master until one of the two died.

One of the students called was Kirche Augusta Frederica von Anhalt-Zerbst, a voluptuous 18 years old red-haired girl, a transferred student coming from a military family of the land of Germania, great expert in flirting and Fire-based spells and possessor of a body Top-models would sell their soul to the devil to have.

She was now waiting patiently in front of the Portal that had opened in front of her as soon as the spell went completed.

"What's wrong, Zerbst? You failed?" a girl with long pink hair said from the back.

"Contrary to you, my little Louise, failure is not the normal and _only_ result of my spells; so I guess I can at least console myself that compared to you I am still a good Mage." Kirche answered with a teasing smile.

"Why you..." the youngest Valliere daughter hissed angrily as a short round of laughs erupted around her.

"Enough now! We will wait a little longer then I will declare the spell failed, Miss Zerbst." Professor Colbert, a man with a prominent balding head, said with a stern tone making silence fall in the assembled group of students.

"Steps." a girl with short blue hair muttered pointing at the portal with her staff making the blue dragon with her recline its head to the side to better listen the faint approaching sound.

"Uh? I can hear those too!" Kirche said with a wide smile.

The professor and students stood in silence as the slow steps grew closer making an human silhouette appear in the blue smoke before something finally came out, showing himself as being a strangely-dressed human.

The figure showed-up being a young man in his twenties with platinum-blond hair so pale to almost seem white and a goatee on his chin, with a charming smile and shining sapphire eyes and dressed in a dark-gray jumpsuit left open to show a blood-red muscle shirt so tight to show his muscled chest, a long chain around his neck holding Bayonetta's _Umbra_ _n_ _watch_ , several gold chains hanging from his hips over his white pants and a scarf sporting clawed _hands_ at its extremities and three earrings in each ear.

"You are my Familiar?" Kirche asked.

"And you are really my Master then?" he asked back.

"...BABY, YEAH!" both yelled at the same time before pausing, look at each other and then burst into mad laughing.

"Oooh! This is priceless! I summoned a commoner!" Kirche said amused while taking away a tear of mirth from her eye.

"Hoy, sweety! I'll have you know that I am the future Amekage of Rain Village and the Heir of the Umbra Clan...if ever I am everything _BUT_ common." Luis answered.

"Amekage?" Kirche asked curious, rolling the term on her tongue with some difficulty.

"A Kage is the second most important political figure of my land, second only to the Daimyos...or _Warlords_ if you prefer that term." he answered.

"So I summoned a noble?" the red-haired young woman asked.

"You summoned a warrior, an Umbran Wizard...a Mage." he answered, making a tense silence fell around him.

"So you say you can do Magic?" Colbert asked cautiously.

"Like this?" Luis asked making a back-flip and landing on all-four...the peculiar thing was that he had turned into a wolf-sized white fox with golden tips on ears and tail while mid-jump, the new form sporting several gold chains around the tail, the body and the legs, the Umbran watch still dangling from his neck and with three rings still on his ears.

" _Proudly presenting the Umbra Clan_ _ **Beast Within**_ _power...cool, eh?"_ the fox asked amused.

"I summoned a Mage...A noble from another land." Kirche said with a weak chuckle barely masking her horror.

"You summoned a Badass! There is a difference. And I accepted being summoned, so don't worry you didn't kidnap me; the idea sounded like lots of fun so I decided to come here." the young man answered smirking as he returned into being an human.

"You _decided_ to be my Familiar?"

"Yes?"

"Well, at least tell me who you are then! As your future Master I order you to!" the girl ordered with a playful glare.

"I am Luis Umbra, baby! And I saw real demons, so sorry, but I am not afraid of a bunch of hormonal teenagers and a retired soldier. Don't worry though as I'll protect you all the same so point me towards who makes you angry or hurt you and I will make sure they will run away screaming for their mommies to save them!" the platinum haired Familiar said with a theatrical bow, making Colbert go wide-eyed at being found-out.

"A soldier?" Kirche asked curious.

"A teacher should never be that sharp-eyed or stiff. And he just checked my body for weaknesses as soon as I appeared, he was not as subtle as he thought to be." Luis answered smirking.

"I see..." Colbert muttered with narrowed eyes.

"I am Kirche Augusta Frederica von Anhalt-Zerbst, and by the power of the Pentagram of the Elements I brand you as my Familiar!" she answered as she tapped his nose with her wand.

"That's it?" he asked.

"No, now I have to kiss you to close the ritual," Kirche answered.

"Your first kiss?" Luis asked.

"Tch! You would like to! I had my fair share of experiences." she answered smirking, both ignoring the growls coming from the female half of the student group.

"Good for you, I'll just go all-out then!" he said dragging her closer to himself.

"Wanna bet who will be the best kisser?"

"Do not underestimate me, pretty boy!" Kirche answered as she lunged forward.

What followed was a war of tongues, the dirtiest exchange of spit in human memory as both tried to suck-out the other's lungs.

" _Hem-hem!_ " Professor Colbert muttered clearing his tongue.

" _UUUUHM!"_ ignoring him completely the two kept kissing with Luis lifting one of Kirche's legs while she grabbed an handful of his hair to pull him even closer.

" _HEM! HEM!"_ the Professor tried again, this time literally _yelling_ the coughing-like sound.

" _UUUUUHM!_ Definitely going to keep you," Kirche said smirking as the two broke apart to take a short breath.

"Shut up and kiss me." he answered.

"My thoughts exactly." she said smirking.

"I think instead that we can safely say that the bonding has been successful. You can now stop kissing him, Miss Zerbst...please stop kissing him before you both go over-board." Colbert pleaded.

"What do you mean, Profes...oh!" the woman said dumbfounded before noticing their actual position, she had one hand inside his pants and one still holding on his hair while he had abandoned the leg in favour of cupping a feel on her ass while his other hand was under her blouse mauling her breasts.

"Eh...cockblocked." Luis muttered sighing.

"It happens unfortunately, but we'll have time to know each other better, don't worry." she answered shrugging.

Talking the duo moved to stand near the blue-haired girl with her dragon to wait for the student named ' _Louise'_ to summon her own Familiar.

"This is Tabitha, a dear friend of mine." Kirche said introducing the two.

"Luis Umbra, nice to meet ya!" the Umbra Familiar said presenting his hand.

"Tabitha...strange marking." the girl replied shaking the offered hand before pointing at the strange tattoo of an heart on its back.

"Oh, this? This is a little ' _Present'_ from a friend of mine, I have to use this and absorb...well, Lust in order to pay for her helping me." he answered showing better the marking of an heart covered in cracks on his hand.

"You can collect Lust in that? Why?" Kirche asked.

"Cleopatra says she'll use it to power the storm raging around her home, don't ask me for details, it's full _**Mature**_ content." Luis answered grimacing as flashes of the Lust Circle of Inferno and Cleopatra's Phallic-shaped tower flashed in his head.

"How does it work?" Tabitha asked curious.

" _Sigh!_ It forces the Lust out that then gets siphoned inside the tattoo, once the cracks disappear from the heart the mark is ' _Full'_ and I can release the collected Lust all at once, done that the Energy automatically reach Cleopatra's realm." he answered.

"Demonstration." the blue-haired girl asked.

"Do I have to?"

"Yup! I am curious myself, so stop whining and use it!" Kirche answered with a mischievous smile.

"Oh, Fine!But not on you or your friend; a _Kuudere_ is better not come in contact with this," he answered.

"Better _Kuudere_ than _Tsundere_." Tabitha answered heavily offended while pointing at Louise just in time for the pink-haired girl's spell to explode.

"A Tsundere? Jubileusdammit that's the last thing I needed..." Luis moaned in dismay.

"Then try with Montmorency, Brimir knows she needs to loosen-up a little," Kirche offered.

"Try what?" a blond-haired girl wearing a big red ribbon asked.

"A solution to your bad mood!"

"I am not in a bad mood!" Montmorency answered growling.

"Virgin?" Luis asked.

"Of course!" the girl answered scandalized.

"Masturbation?"

"Why would I go through such a sinful act!?" she replied horrified.

"And you two?" the Umbran Familiar asked with a raised eyebrow.

"I don't need _that_ to pass some quality time." Kirche said smugly.

"..." Tabitha simply kept reading.

"...You and that wooden staff are awfully friendly, isn't it?" Luis asked smirking.

"...Not answering..." the blue-haired girl said burying her face between the pages.

"I can loan him to you, if you want." Kirche stage-whispered.

"Not interested." the other said.

"What about if I tell you that..." the red-head muttered before her whispering got too low to hear.

"...interested." Tabitha answered nodding before removing her glasses to repair them as somehow those had cracked by themselves.

"Tonight then?"

"Yes."

"What?" Luis asked.

"Up for a threesome?" Kirche said jokingly.

"...Meh! May as well." he answered after checking his watch.

"I was joking." she answered.

"I wasn't." he replied with a straight face.

 _"Huhuhu!_ At least you won't be a boring Familiar. Well! Since it seems that everyone here has done, mind accompany me? I'll give you a small tour of this place so you won't get lost." Kirche offered stretching.

"Lead the way, sweet-cheeks!" the Umbran Wizard answered winking.

"Come along, Tabitha! You are more adept at lengthy explanations."

"Not funny." the blue-haired girl replied as she and her dragon joined the group.

"Then stop giving monosyllabic answers," Luis said.

"Yep! He is righ- _OUCH!_ " Kirche said before yelping at the soft tap of Tabitha's staff on her head.

"Bad Master...and Bad Familiar." Tabitha muttered while tapping Luis' head too.

No-one of the class paid attention to the pink-haired girl left behind looking hopefully at their backs with an eager expression.

"See? I summoned something! I summoned a Familiar...I am good!...Come on! I am not a Zero!" she tried saying while pointing at the small doll ( _barely fifteen-inches-tall_ ) of a girl in a red dress that was now standing on her tiny toes and waving her arms to be noticed herself.

"Just bring her inside, Miss Valliere. I am sure the others are just distracted and will soon admit that you did have success in summoning." Professor Colbert said with a gentle smile.

"Thank you professor! I can't wait to see what awesome power my Familiar possess!" Louise answered with a giant smile as she hurried back into school.

" _Should I tell her that by the runes_ _on its forehead_ _she summoned something called '_ _ **Joknir**_ _ **?**_ _ **'**_ _By the name alone I fear that_ Power _is the only thing that Familiar has not...poor girl..._ " Colbert thought in dismay as he watched the happy girl walk away.

As suspected, the later studies the man will go through that very same night will confirm that, contrary to Miss Kirche Augusta Frederica von Anhalt-Zerbst summoning the Legendary Familiar **Vindálfr,** also known as " _ **The**_ _ **Right Hand of God**_ **"** said to posses the special ability to control animals and even other Familiars to an extent...the fact that Louise just summoned the " _Not-quite-as-Legendary"_ Familiar known as ' _ **the Joke of God'**_ did not make the same impact the poor girl obviously hoped for.

But it was easy to assume that Colbert will take the secret about Louise summoning a Familiar that SHOULDN'T in fact exist because Brimir himself invented it as a joke to his tomb, as a professor and good man at heart he had not in himself the strength to give her this very painful news and just let her believe to have summoned an useful Familiar.

 **Omake – But if both Luis here and Naruto in the other story are the Vindalfr...what happened to Julio in Romalia? -**

 **Romalia – personal rooms of the Pope -**

"WHY THE RUNES DO NOT APPEAR!?" the young Pope of Romalia shrieked in rage.

"I-I don't know, your Majest-UUUGH!" Julio Chesare said worried before Vittorio's mouth covered his and the Ecclesiastic man's tongue tried to tear-off his tonsils.

" _Guah!_ NOTHING!? WHY?! How is this possible? Shaking hands didn't work...mixing blood didn't work. KISSING. DIDN'T. WORK!" Vittorio screamed.

"I noticed..." Julio muttered with a miserable expression.

"There is only one thing left then to try as I know for certain that I am a Void Mage...Julio?"

"Yes, your Majesty?" the young man said VERY worried.

"I will have you develop those Void Runes no matter what!" the young man answered.

"S-S-So?"

"Bend over." Vittorio answered opening his robes.

"...I have something to admit, your Majesty. Maybe this Familiar Bonding thing is not for me after all...I mean, I-is not you, it's me! I respect you too much that's why I am leaving, but we can remain friends if you want!" Julio said with a forced smile as he backed away.

"Stop speaking nonsense! The future of this land depends on me being a Void Mage and obtaining a powerful Familiar! You appeared at my summoning and now you WILL take the Runes whatever you want it or not...I just hope you won't mind cuddling afterwards." the now naked Pope said shaking his head.

"THAT PART OF MY BODY IS ' _EXIT ONLY!_ " Julio answered shrieking as he ran away.

"GUARDS! Bring back my Familiar!...and fetch some lubricant in the meantime if you can, I have a sensible skin." Vittorio ordered making six burly guards appear out of thin air to chase the fleeing man.

"NOOOOOOO!" Julio yelled in despair as he was dragged back to the Pope screaming and kicking by the guards.

That too won't work, unfortunately for Julio Vittorio won't admit defeat until the dawn of the following day though.

But at least the Yaoi fans of Julio everywhere will be happy to hear this.

 **Okay, this is the first chapter, I don't know how good this story will be in the end since this is the first time I do a Crossover between a story of mine and something Famous as a Light Novel/Anime like Zero no Tsukaima.**

 **Contrary to "Changing World is not Bad Either" where I have simply moved Harry, Ron and Hermione from a "Canonish" time-line of the books to the world of Naruto, here I am actually pulling out an OOC Naruto (bordering on the _OC_ Territory) into a "Canonish" Time-line of ZnT...**

 **I have no idea how to properly do this, so please, Constructive criticism and help would be wonderful to have, just please remember the difference between "Flame" and "Constructive Criticism" that's all I ask.**

 **By the way, just to be sure it is easy to understand.**

 **Luis Umbra is practically Naruto that got " _Adopted"/ "Turned"_ by the Shinigami into the son of Jeanne and Salamander Hanzou; so no _whiskers,_ but withpale hair like Jeanne and powers similar to both Jeanne and Bayonetta (Both games), Devil summons and Wicked Waves attack as well powered by Kurama's Soul inside the Seal shaping his hair to mimic them with the same result and power.**

 **Personality is half-way between Bayonetta, Naruto and Jeanne.**

 _ **Powers of**_ _ **Luis Umbra:**_

 _ **Pact with:**_ _ **Mistress Cleo**_ _ **(**_ _ _ **The**__ _ _ **Boss from the game "Dante's Inferno", same background but in here she survived the fight with Dante**__ _ **).**_

 _ **Beast within: a white**_ _ _ **Fox**__ _ **.**_

 _ **Beast within**_ _ **(**_ _ **flying**_ _ **)**_ _ **:**_ _ _ **Dove**__ _ **, white and gold**_ _ _ **Wasps**__ _ **.**_

 _ **Beast within (Water):**_ _ _ **Manta Ray**__ _ **fish.**_

 _ **Weapons:**_

 ** _Handguns: Race-red version of "_ _ _Love is Blue__ _" guns of Bayonetta named "_ _ _Twister Sisters__ _ _"__ _(each gun has the name of strong videogame girls:_ _ _Chun-li, Morrigan, Samus, Tifa__ _)_ **

_**Orochi : **_**a Whip made from the body and soul of Orochimaru, snake-shaped;** **the whip part can be retracted inside the handle to take-out the blade of the _Kusanagi Sword_.**

 _ **Dandy Man:**_ **gloves that generates an infinite amount of explosive cards. (I took the idea from the Character '** ** _Tubalcain Alhambra'_ of Hellsing Ultimate and the weapon ' _Lucifer'_ from Devil May Cry).**

 **Thank you for reading this and my other stories.**

 **Tr230.**


	2. Chapter 2

**I fear I will soon abandon this story, I can't see how I can continue this in a decent way as I don't feel it has the potential it needs...I don't want this to suck.**

" **You** **bastard"** \- demon talking / jutsu

"Let's finish this" - dialogue

" _Can it get any worse?_ " - during flashback/thoughts

 **Pairing: doing this I am not "Ignoring" the "Canon" pairing of my original story, so We'll have:**

 _ **Luis / Kirche.**_

 ** _T_ _iffania_ too? Please?**

 _ **Disclaimer: I don't own Luis or Zero no Tsukaima (Familiar of Zero) or whatever I will use and I already used in this or any other story I write, wrote and will write nor I did this for money or any sort of compensation. Thank you for your time.**_

 **A word of advice, Luis here will act _slightly_ different from Canon due to not being the " _Original one"._ **

**Chapter 2: Everyone's new source of head-aches: Kirche's Familiar.**

 **Tristain Academy of Magic – Kirche's room -**

The first ray of sun was barely peeking inside the luxuriously-decorated room when Kirche's eyes fluttered open and a wide-mouthed yawn tore its way out of her throat.

"...Hoy? Weren't you supposed to sleep on the small bed I had the maids prepare?" she asked with a tired groan as she turned to look behind herself and in the eyes of her Familiar.

"You are sleeping wearing only your bra and panties, and that thing was hard and cold and lonely." the human Familiar answered while snuggling closer to his Master.

"I can feel something poking my leg, that too seems pretty hard and uncomfortable." Kirche answered as she untangled herself from the tight hug of the platinum blond to sleepily put her forehead on his.

"I am a strapping young man, it would have been bad if I had not a morning wood." he answered unconcerned.

"You still have an hand on my breast." the woman answered chuckling.

"Ufufufu! Talks the one cupping a feel on my ass!" he answered amused.

"Pervert!" Kirche sang sticking-out her tongue.

"Bitch!" he answered equally smugly.

"..."

"Nice couple! HAHAHAHAHA!" both said at the same time before laughing.

"Luis..." Kirche said shaking her head.

"Yes, Mistress?" he answered puffing-out his chest.

"Put some clothes on and let's get ready for the day." the Mage said as she left the bed.

"I sleep in my boxers, so what? You didn't seem to mind, Boss!" the young man answered while wearing his red shirt and shoes.

" _Touché_ , we both like to flaunt our sexy body fruit of hard work and sufferance, I can't deny that." Kirche admitted nodding before her eyes fell on his lack of clothing.

"Yes?"

"A shirt and shoes...where is the rest?" she asked curious.

"Eh!" he answered smirking as his hair elongated and covered his body before rapidly shaping themselves into his jumpsuit.

"A little spell and I change colour a little to not give away what they are made of!" Luis answered proudly.

"Cool!" the woman answered clapping with a wide smile.

"I'll help you get dressed, Master."

"I thought you were only good at _undressing_ girls, not the opposite..."

"Oh do shut up, man-eater!"

" _Tche_! There is a difference..."

" **Actually you two are the same, nine times out of ten you think using your guts and/or privates, the other is just winging it and managing because you are disgustingly lucky..."** a new voice rumbled amused.

"AAAAAAAAAAAH!" Kirche screamed in utter horror at seeing the towering form of the purple-skinned, long-haired Death God Shinigami suddenly appearing in her room sitting on her desk.

"Yo! Long time no see! What are you doing here?" Luis asked amused.

" **It's been a while, that's true. I heard about what happened with Loki and got curious myself. So she is the lady?** " the Shinigami asked pointing at Kirche with his thumb.

"Yep! All sexy and powerful. Just like me!"

"WHO IS THAT THING?!" Kirche demanded with a shrilly voice.

" **I am not a** _ **thing**_ **, I am a Death God, the one tasked with pointing to the souls their rightful place in the Underworld**. **A** **n** **d I think that there is a Talk that needs to be done...** " the spirit said.

"DEATH?!"

" **Inevitable, impossible to deter...yes, that's me. Or better, I am the** _ **Face**_ **of it when it comes to the Elemental Countries, your own appointed Death should be around** **here** **somewhere harassing** **some** **priests or something, the girl loves to taunt bigots.** " the entity answered.

"I think it may be a little too soon," Luis said unsure as he and the Shinigami watched the scared Von Zerbst heiress still looking at both with bulged-out eyes.

" **Her powers awoke the moment you took the Mark as her Familiar, soon her Fire will gain a '** _ **companion'**_ **and we CAN'T waste time in buttering-** **up** **her enough** **to not snap** **, a week from now she WILL start using '** _ **That Element'**_ **as well. Contrary to what Loki thinks there is no more waiting.** " the Shinigami answered shaking his head.

" _Sigh!_ Open a portal to the _Naraka Club_ pub, please? And help me explaining to her what is happening..." Luis said groaning.

"WHAT!? What is happening?" Kirche finally asked grabbing her Familiar's shoulders to shake him wildly.

"To be honest, a shit storm is coming and both me AND you are in the middle of it...I'll ask to Rodin to start opening bottles as I know alcohol will be soon needed in huge quantities." he answered.

"How bad it is?" she asked.

"Well..."

 **One Hour Later – Rain Village – ' _Naraka Club'_ Pub - **

"That bad?!" Kirche groaned in disbelief as she stood with her face glued to the counter of the pub while toying with her drink.

"Eh! We saw lots of worse things, we killed gods and stopped Armageddon a couple of times. It's all a matter of getting used to it, babe." Rodin answered as he took away the empty glasses to refill them.

"Armageddon?"

"The end of the world as we know it, Aunt Bayonetta and Mother Jeanne stopped Jubileus and Loki's Evil Side and I stopped Nagato and his ' _Moon eye Plan'_...stopping some haughty dudes from enacting an huge war AND the Elves from retaliating giving birth to a massacre has nothing on that." Luis answered shrugging.

"And what about me?" Kirche asked pointing at herself with a sigh.

"You are my heir, Honey! You'll have to learn how to deal with my heritage." Loki answered from his table and sipping his non-alcoholic fruit drink.

"A Void User...and Valliere is one as well? Are we related then?" she asked.

"Yes and no. Ignoring probable intermixing of bloodlines throughout history, she comes from Brimir's own branch of the bloodline." Loki answered.

"So?"

"Image it like this..." Hanzou said as Luka wheeled a black-board in the room.

"Why you have a black-board in a pub?" Luis asked smirking.

"It's ' _Pictionary Night'_ tomorrow, people have to draw something and the others must guess what is it." Rodin answered shrugging.

"CAN WE RETURN TO THE MATTER AT HAND, PLEASE?!" Loki screamed.

"Okay! The thing is like this: The God of Creation Aesir has split himself in half after Enlightening the humans about the true nature of the world. The two halves are Loki and Loptr." Jeanne said writing the two names on the opposite sides of the board.

"Loki, that is the midget down there..." Luis said smirking.

"Fuck you, mate!"

"Was the _Good Half_ while Loptr was the _Evil Half_ that in order to recover the lost power of Aesir gave birth to Witch Hunts and everything that followed Bayonetta and Jeanne's birth." Hanzou continued saying as he added ' _Good'_ and ' _Evil'_ under Loki and Loptr's names respectively.

"But this does not relate to you, it's just background info." Loki said.

"Okay...go on..." Kirche said uncertain.

"Before all that happened though, Loki here decided to visit the worlds of Creation, to see how each and every being was adapting to his gift. Oblivious that Loptr was instead screwing around planning to return into being Aesir." Jeanne said.

"Okay...and he has met Brimir himself in that time?" Kirche asked rising her hand.

"Not exactly...Loki WAS Brimir." Jeanne answered as she wrote ' _Brimir'_ under Loki's name.

"WHAT?!"

"I used to go by different names, to blend-in better with the people in there; so for the people of your world I was ' _ **Brimir Ru Rumiru Yuru Viri Vee Varutori,**_ " the young boy answered.

"Why that long-ass name?" Luis asked.

"When I was asked first I almost choked on a chicken bone and coughed-out all that instead of just ' _ **Brimir Varutori**_ _',_ and since they didn't seem to mind too much I kept it like that." the other answered shrugging.

"Okay...if Loki here is Brimir then...how come me and Louise are not related if I am his descendant and Valliere is Brimir's?" Kirche asked.

"Now that comes the difference. Loki fell in love with a Germanian girl named..." Luka said before a long sigh interrupted him.

"Brynhildr...Oooh! She was so pretty, so generous..." Loki said with a longing smile.

"You were head over heels for her, little one." Bayonetta said smirking.

"Oooh! And she could suck a banana out of its peel and do things with her feet to a man that were legendary!" the young boy continued saying with a deranged giggle.

"...Never mind..." Bayonetta added with a grimace.

"Okay, midget's sex-life aside. From Loki and Brynhildr comes YOUR _branch_ of the Void Magic, while from Loptr and...the half dozen women he slept with came all the others." Rodin said as two vertical lines went drawn on the black-board under the two names.

"So...Loptr ' _stole'_ Loki's identity as Brimir and slept with several women...one of which is Louise's ancestor..." Kirche tried saying.

"Exactly, as soon as Loptr plan for recovering his Godly powers became knew to Loki the latter escaped through Time losing his memories of his past... Brynhildr and relative children comprised." Hanzou said.

"On the contrary Loptr preferred to just ' _wait'_ and consolidate his power in our world while waiting for Loki to arrive, in the meantime cementing his ' _Godhood'_ in your world on the side-lines to appease to his huge ego, oblivious that Brynhildr was already pregnant and so de-facto carrying Loki's descendant." Jeanne added.

"So we have two branches... _Brimirric (Loptr)_ and _Brynhildric (Loki)_ that the Void can choose Vessels from...and I come from Loki's side, like two twins having families on their own." Kirche said in realization.

"From that inbreeding and mixed marriages widened the pool of Mages. But the thing remains that yes, in a sense you and Miss Valliere are related, albeit weakly since at the time me and Loptr were two distinct and separated entities...twins in a sense."Loki explained.

"Then why I can use Fire as my Element? Why not Void only?" the heiress asked.

"That's a good question. The fact remains that you are the last of a LOOONG series of humans born from a deity, but with the passing of time the ' _Deity'_ blood so to speak went diluted a lot, in the end the Void can either ' _co-exist'_ with your Element or take over. Louise has only Void Element Magic and too much power for her to handle without creating explosions, on the contrary you have Fire and a spirit strong enough to handle both that and the Void existing within yourself. The fact that you are MY descendant also helps, Loptr has always lacked finesse so I am not surprised Valliere has a mean temper and all the rest," Loki answered with a smug smile.

"Oh...so...what now?" Kirche said uncertain.

"You keep being a schoolgirl studying Magic and Luis here will be your Familiar, nothing changed, but at least you now know that you'll have to study Void Magic as well, that's all." Loki answered.

"That's all?"

"Yep! If, and that is one damn big ' _IF'_ , something happens that requires our intervention we will deal with that, no sense breaking our head for a non-existing problem!" Luis answered.

"Oh! It's kind of comforting if you put it like that." the Zerbst Heiress said in small relief.

"Girl I am a certified Badass Hero, and you are one too now, we ALWAYS win in the end. Kicking ass is in our blood!" the Familiar answered crossing his arms.

That managed to have Kirche laugh hard enough to bring out tears, from there the Umbra Clan continued explaining her what was happening and the way they will (begrudgingly in some cases) help her from that moment onward.

 **The next day – Alviss Dining Hall -**

"So? How's that book? Too hard to understand?" Luis asked smirking.

"Other than the fact that my great-great- _too many sodding_ great _-_ grandpa writes like a monkey with a broken wrist no, everything seems to be clear enough, he sure knows how to explain everything...even if I think he believes me to be dumb with how _easy_ he tried to make everything sound." Kirche answered while studying the pages of the small bundle of notes Loki gave her.

"That is only the first lesson, as soon you have learned that the guys will send us the rest, like that Loki will have time to write down everything you need to know." the Familiar answered.

"You...with a book?" Tabitha asked as she moved to sit next to Kirche.

"I study too, do you really think that I passed my tests just by being pretty?" she answered winking.

"No. What are you reading about?"

"Notes and the like, a far-away family member sent them to me to help me get better."

"Bad hand-writing though...broken hand?" Tabitha asked curious.

"No!" the other said sighing in dismay.

"Sorry if I asked." Tabitha answered nodding.

" _Kyuu!_ "

"Outside." the blue-haired girl ordered to her Familiar.

" _Kyuuu..."_ Sylphid the dragon answered with a sad nod.

"Can I go keep her company?" Luis asked.

"She'll be fine, just a little melancholic." Tabitha answered shaking her head.

"That dragon is a softy, if it was for that cute thing Tabitha would not do anything else other than scratching her belly." Kirche said laughing.

"KATIE! KATIE IS NOT AS IT SEEMS!" Guiche yelled as he was seen chasing a first year girl, he himself followed by a furious Montmorency.

"HOY! What happened?" Luis asked as he grabbed the Katie girl that immediately hugged him to bury her face on his chest.

"Nothing to worry about, just a small issue we are resolving ourselves." Guiche answered nonplussed.

"IT WAS NOT AN ISSUE WHEN YOU TOOK MY VIRGINITY!" Katie yelled in pure sorrow making a tense silence fall in the room.

"...Oh." Luis muttered after a short pause.

"This is all your fault! You seduced him!" Montmorency screamed.

"WOH! What? She is the one crying...and the idiot is a womanizer...I think the fault is of Goldilocks there..." Luis said pointing at Guiche.

"That's nothing of your concern, in fact, she is the one that should be worried as she is the one that got between me and Guiche!" the blond girl said huffing.

"Your name is Katie, right?" the Familiar asked.

"Uh-hu..." the girl said, still snuggling in his chest.

"You seduced him?"

"...No, he said...he said that the moonlight was making my skin shine like a star..." she answered with a low muttering.

"God...that's cheesy."

"HEY!" Guiche said indignant.

"It kind of is, but the scenery helped making it less so." Katie added.

"My words are poetry of pure gold made into verses! You are just too ignorant to comprehend their beauty!" the Noble huffed crossing his arms in childish offence.

"Ugh! Is he for real?" the Umbran Familiar asked grimacing.

"He is pretty, the girls tend to play deaf when he does that...excluding Montmorency." Katie said sighing.

"STOP IT! I am not just a pretty face! Girls love my way of talking, right?" Guiche said.

"..." the female students present just looked else-where while scratching the back of their necks.

"Right?..." he asked again weakly.

"Some are good...the rest are just...noise, but Katie is right, you ARE one of the prettiest boys in here so one just needs to pretend to like those lines...even if some are so old my grand-father too refuses to use them..." another girl answered with an uncertain smile.

"GUH!" Guiche gurgled-out as if stricken physically before crouching in a corner with a blueish aura around his body.

"Well! Good thing I am here then! Awesome, cool and less into lame theatrics." Luis said smirking while pointing at himself.

"Really? And you think it will be enough?" Kirche asked amused.

"Well, Little Katie still has to let go of me..." he answered making the girl hanging from him _eep_ in embarrassment.

"Sorry!" she said immediately, surprised to feel his arms encircle her.

"Why? Your hugs feel nice! Huhuhu!" he answered kissing her forehead and making her go cherry-red on her face.

"STOP IT! Unbelievable, you are just like your Master, an Hormone-driven animal!" Montmorency said in anger.

"HOY! Mine is passion, it doesn't mean that I whore myself out!" Kirche said offended.

"Spare me that, Germanian! You go through men like a cheap prostitute, everyone knows that!" the other replied.

"Stop it, before I get mad." Luis warned her.

"Or else? Will you challenge me? Duels between students are forbidden!" Montmorency said smirking.

"...But as my Familiar he can fight you himself to defend my honour..." Kirche said with narrowed eyes.

"Honour? What honour? I didn't know you had some!" Montmorency replied.

"Luis!" the Germanian ordered sharply.

"ON IT!" the Umbran shinobi answered nodding.

"What are you-EEEEEEP!" the blond Mage barely managed to ask before the Familiar grabbed her and to the other's surprise lifted her from then ground before moving her under his arm so that her ass was up in the air.

"How many?" Luis asked.

"Twenty for now, we'll see how she will act afterwards." Kirche answered.

"PUT ME DOW-AAAAAAH!" Montmorency yelled before the first spank got her ass fully silencing her.

"AGAIN!" Kirche barked.

 _SLAP!_

"AGAIN!"

 _SLAP!_

"Stop! Stop this instant!" the girl pleaded with her face red in both anger and embarrassment.

"It's either this or fighting me, sweety!" Luis said spanking her again and again before the first twenty smacks finished echoing in the room filled with shocked Nobles.

"Okay! Okay! If you insist in getting humiliated then so be it!" Montmorency finally said.

"GOOD! Come along then, a Zerbst never let the first passing by ruin their name!" Kirche said as she walked outside.

"ARGH! I am not the ' _the first passing by'_! I am the first daughter of the De Monmorency Family!" the girl shrieked as she was unceremoniously dropped on the floor.

"...Exactly the same thing." the red-haired girl replied smirking.

"HOW DARE YOU!"

"Mmmh! I can feel it! The smell of wounded pride! DELICIOUS!" Luis answered snorting as the trio reached the outside followed by the whole student body of the school.

"Here is okay?" Kirche asked looking around.

"Yes." Montmorency hissed in answer.

"Let's do this properly then..."

"I am Kirche Augusta Frederica von Anhalt-Zerbst and my runic name is ' _The Ardent'_ and with your words you have dared tarnish the name of my family. As per the school's rules I cannot challenge you personally, but since my Familiar is indeed a Magic User and yet not considered a student here he will take my place in the challenge." the young woman said with narrowed eyes and surprising the others with her actually being serious for once.

"And I, Montmorency Margarita La Fère de Montmorency known as ' _The Fragrance'_ accept your Challenge in virtue of your daring to humiliate me in front of our fellow students!" the other answered.

"Done with that crap?" Luis asked yawning.

"...Yeah, kick her petite bottom, would you kindly?" Kirche answered with a wicked smile.

"Booya! I am Luis Umbra, baby! Give me your best shot!" the young man said cracking his neck with a wide smile.

"INSOLENT!" Montmorency said as with a wide slashing motion several geysers of water erupted around her.

"Huhuhu! Wanna see who's faster?" Luis said as his arms moved into a blur making cards appear in his hands as soon as those went covered by the gloves ' _ **Dandy Man'**_.

"DROWN!" the girl barked as the columns of water whipped forward making his body explode into a swarm of wasps an instant before impact.

"What the?!"

"To the left!" the Umbran shinobi said once recomposed his body and launching an handful of cards at Montmorency's feet making the terrain under her explode.

"You know, baby?...you should be a tiny bit faster, I saw Academy Students back home move with more speed." Luis said casually as he sat on the bewildered Montmorency's stomach while she was lying down on her back.

"Wasps?!" she asked.

"Umbran Clan Magic: ' _ **Beast Within'**_ ; I can turn into a bunch of animals depending in what I need to dodge an attack, among other things." he answered disappearing in a burst of speed to evade the rapid thrusting forward of the girl's wand summoning a small spear of water.

"I am not defeated yet!" she growled as she jumped to her feet.

"I hope not, that was a love tap...THIS IS AN ATTACK! **RED CLIMAX!** " Luis said this time he started spinning on himself making a red rain of energy fall from his body on the battlefield soon after.

"Shit!" Kirche yelled as she and the other students rapidly ran back to leave more room to the fight.

"KYYYAAAAH!" Montmorency shrieked in fright while dropping down covering her head with her arms.

Once the Familiar stopped the whole site was covered in flaming red cards with the ground shining in the flame-like light of those projectiles that were surrounding the wide-eyed Noble girl.

"Do you know what life needs in abundance?... **Ecstasy!** " the Umbran young man said clapping his hands and making the cards shine brighter.

"EVERYONE! TAKE COVER!" the newly-arrived Professor Colbert yelled with wide eyes as the whole school trembled down to its foundations under the explosion of hundreds of cards at the same time.

"...Is everyone okay?" Colbert asked coughing while watching the grinning Luis walk out from the cloud of dust spotless and without the barest bruise on his face or body.

"Did you like? It was a little flashy, but it got the job done!" the the young man said merrily.

"M-M-M-Mommy!..." Montmorency whimpered trembling from the solitary mound of untouched terrain she was standing on while around her everything had been turned into a very large, very deep and still-smoking crater.

"Drats! I missed her..." the Familiar said groaning.

"I-I-I-I give u-"

"But the next attack won't that's for sure!"

"WAIT! I SAID THAT I ADMIT DEFEA-"

" **YULCI! (bring Forth!)** " Luis chanted with his hands up in the hair summoning from a portal on the floor a dark construct of black metal.

It was an _Infernal_ _version_ of the erotic device known as "Wooden Pony" with the difference that this one had a jagged back and a devilish grin on its face and ominous smoke coming out from its nostrils.

"NOW COME MY LITTLE PET! LET'S PLAY!" the Familiar said from the Pony's head while twirling a torn-like whip.

"NO! S-Stay away from me!" the girl yelled trying to run away before the young man caught her with the whip to violently slam her on the horse's back.

"Oh...wow..." Guiche muttered swallowing hard at seeing the whip moving by its own around Montmorency's breasts and body in a bondage fashion, tying her arms behind her back and keeping her legs wide open.

"NOW SING FOR ME, BABY!" Luis said tugging the whip while pushing the girl on the spikes with a strong kick on her back.

But while everyone was expecting the girl to scream in pain and agony, what they got in answer had been several long moans and panting from the trapped girl.

"Come on, you can scream if you like it. It's natural to show your pleasure in this case." the Familiar said tugging the whip with more strength making her scream louder in bliss.

"Fight it, Montmorency! You can free yourself! JUST FIGHT HIM!" Guiche said with fire in his eyes.

"She likes." Tabitha said pointing with her staff to the blond girl that was rubbing her privates on the spikes by herself with lust-clouded eyes.

"Eh! He was right! Monmon really just needed to get-off a little!" Kirche said laughing and making Guiche fall down face-first on the floor in disbelief.

"I think we can stop now, you can't fight anymore" Luis said smirking in satisfaction.

"NOOO! Please! I'm so close!" the squirming girl panted out.

"...Eh?"

"Five more minutes...please? I am almost there!" Montmorency pleaded.

"Oh, whatever!" he answered giving to her back a last kick and so shoving her on the spikes a last time enticing an howling scream from the Noble girl now with her body shacking wildly under the mind shattering climax before collapsing from the structure as it disappeared.

"Do you give in? Do you admit defeat?" Luis asked curious.

"..."

"Hello?" he asked again.

"Unconscious." Tabitha answered shaking her head.

"MONTMORENCYYYYYY!" Guiche yelled as he hurried at the unconscious girl's side in an instant.

"Satisfied?" the Familiar asked his Master.

"Nice way to defeat her, that's for certain!" Kirche answered snorting.

"YOU! HOW DARE YOU DO THAT TO HER!?" the De Gramont Heir roared in blind fury.

"I am not in the mood for another fight, _Guichy,_ go bother someone else please..." the young Umbran answered stretching.

"You will instead! I will defe- _ **ROOOOOOOAR!**_ " what Guiche was about to say died in his throat as the monstrous head of a black dragon-like being appeared at an inch of his face roaring in a mixture of fury and hunger; it was a creature easily over one hundred feet in length, primarily black with purple accents, and with a strange crown-like ornament sporting something that almost looked like a face set into the front of it on its head, its four glowing dot-shaped eyes were shining in delight as its razor-sharp fangs reflected the rays of the sun.

" **OXEX RACLIR! (To vomit weeping): Gomorrah!** " Luis said with the top half of his clothes returning into being hair and flowing in unnatural length inside a portal before coming out of a second one under Gomorrah to give body to the infernal summon.

A dead silence fell in the area as ever so slowly Guiche's eyes rolled in the back of his head before he fainted on top of Montmorency.

"So that's Gomorrah?" Kirche asked watching the beast disappear and the young man's hair returning into acting as clothes.

"Yep! He is cool, right?" he asked smugly.

"Scary and awesome, that's right!" she answered patting his back nodding.

"And look! Just in time for lesson, what will we do with those two?"

"Meh! They will wake-up by themselves...or someone else will, I don't care." Kirche answered shrugging while walking back inside the school.

"...I am not cleaning after her this time." Tabitha said before rapidly joining the Master-Familiar duo before anyone could say something.

What remained from the rapidly retreating students was Professor Colbert looking at the downed Montmorency and Guiche while shaking his head with a sigh.

"Honestly, I thought that it would have been Mister De Gramont the first one to cause troubles and finish like this... _Sigh!_ A match made in heaven I suppose..." the balding professor muttered as he chanted a small spell to have the two teens levitate behind himself.

"First two victims?" and old voice asked.

"Headmaster...yes, I fear that this is only the beginning..." Colbert answered bowing his head at the older man.

"We are going to get sooo many scathing letters as soon as miss Zerbst and her Familiar start creating havoc." Osmond said sighing himself while both marched towards the infirmary.

"It was bound to happen sooner or later...but I finally discovered why he is an human with Magic abilities."

"Why I feel like fearing the answer?" the Headmaster said shivering.

"I am almost certain that Miss Zerbst is actually both a Fire and Void Mage..." Colbert answered with a weak smile.

"Oh..."

"Yes...' _Oh_ ' sounds like the only answer to this situation." Colbert said nodding.

"If you ask me you two are being too much catastrophic."

"HYYYYYEEEEEEE!?" both adults shrieked dropping both Guiche and Montmorency on their heads with a dull ' _ **THUD**_ _!'_ sound making them shriek even harder before Colbert re-applied the levitating spell.

"We need to talk."

"W-Who are you?" Colbert asked while near him Osmond kept taking deep breaths while clutching his chest.

"The name's Hanzou, known as ' _The Salamander'_...your new P.E Instructor BWAHAHAHAHA!" the masked man said with a chilling laugh that had the two move in the Brimirric equivalent of the ' _Sign of the Cross_ '.

"P-P-P.E Instructor?"

"I won't miss on the fun this time. And you will accept this..." Hanzou answered chuckling darkly and causing the other two to shiver once again.

"Or else?" Osmond asked back challengingly as he and Colbert took a ready stance.

"Or else? Or else I'll do this and then get even more creative and cruel." he answered cracking his knuckles.

"This what?"

"THIS!..."

"..."

"AAAAAAAAAAAAH!" two high-pitched screams pierced the sky making everyone shudder in horror while the Kage's laugh echo in the whole school.

 **Meanwhile – Elemental Countries – Rain Village -**

"...I am bored..." Bayonetta said while signing yet another paper while sitting in the Kage chair in Hanzou's office.

"How did he talk us into taking his place?" Jeanne grumbled as she too took several pages herself to sign them.

"Inferno only knows how he did that Jeannie."

"More incoming!" Luka said as he brought a new pillar of papers in the office.

"Jubileusdammit..." both witches grumbled sighing.

 **Back to Tristain Magical Academy – Alvis dining Hall -**

"...And so, in order to produce a stronger generation of Nobles we decided to add a small course about physical education..." Osmond said to the assembled students while discreetly stealing glances at Hanzou to be sure the man was not moving.

As the buzzing of the students quieted down enough the Headmaster cleared his throat to bring back their attention on himself.

"I am sure your parents as well will agree to our plans as we have already moved to alert them and asked for suggestion to the ones with military background so to obtain better results...that is why I am happy to introduce you the new member of our Staff, Professor Hanzou...R-Runic name ' _The Poisonous Salamander'_. Feel free to ask him in case you are curious about this new development, he will tell you where his office is located and more." Osmond said with his voice quivering a little as soon as he saw the masked man wave at the students.

"Thank you, Headmaster. As he said I will take care of making sure your body will be just as strong as your Magic if not more, I WON'T show favoritism...or mercy." Hanzou said freezing the boys and girls in there with his cold eyes.

"Eeh!...They are fucked." Luis muttered chuckling and winking at his dad.

"Your father joining the school, but where is Professor Colbert?" Kirche asked.

"If you are wondering..." Hanzou said rising his voice and surprising her.

"Professor Colbert is not present because guest of the Infirmary, but he will hopefully be back soon." he said amused.

"W-W-What happened to him?" Malicorne asked trembling.

"He just misunderstood the situation and made the wrong decision, now he is just paying the price of it." the new Professor answered unconcerned.

 **Infirmary -**

"The horror...the horror...it hurts...it's horrible...please no!" Colbert said moving around his bed where he had been tied to.

"Poor man, he is under shock." the matron of the infirmary muttered shaking her head.

"Salamanders...salamanders everywhere...plums...feathers...spoons and jelly! NOT THE JELLY! NOT THE JELLYYYYY!" the man shrieked as he fought against the bindings before a Water Mage tackled him to force-feed him a blue vial to make him sleep.

"Don't ask, it's not pretty." the matron answered seeing the questioning look on her colleagues' faces.

 **I'll close the second chapter here, and as I said at the beginning I am afraid the story will soon be dropped, it has been a mistake doing this, I fear XD.**

 **Sweetmiss2121 if you are reading this:**

 _ **THE ANSWER IS NO!**_ **I AM NOT GOING TO WRITE A ' MY LITTLE PONY'/NARUTO CROSSOVER FOR MY "OP Corner" SO STOP ASKING!**

 **We are friends, me and you and User 627 may like to chat together and I find you to be a very fun girl I love to talk with, but I know my readers won't like it if I do that, _ESPECIALLY_ if I do it _MY WAY_.**

 **It's just not my style, that's all. Nothing personal ^ ^.**

 **To you others, I'll see you around the web. See ya!**

 **Tr230.**


	3. Chapter 3

**I don't think I will abandon this in the end, but I am still surprised to see some of you accept this story this much, so I'll try my best.**

" **You** **bastard"** \- demon talking / jutsu

"Let's finish this" - dialogue

" _Can it get any worse?_ " - during flashback/thoughts

 **Pairing: doing this I am not "Ignoring" the "Canon" pairing of my original story, so We'll have:**

 ** _Luis /_ _Kirche /_ _T_ _iffania_.**

 _ **Disclaimer: I don't own Luis or Zero no Tsukaima (Familiar of Zero) or whatever I will use and I already used in this or any other story I write, wrote and will write nor I did this for money or any sort of compensation. Thank you for your time.**_

 **A word of advice, Luis here will act _slightly_ different from Canon due to not being the " _Original one"._ **

**Chapter 3: The daily life of a Noble/Familiar duo.**

 **Tristain Academy – around the school -**

"RUN, MAGGOTS! **RUN!** " Hanzou yelled from the top of Ibuse's head while waving around a wooden sword in a threatening way.

"I-I-I" - _PANT! -_ "I CAN'T FEEL MY LEGS ANYMORE!" a student yelled in despair.

"That's because you are a sissy ball of lard! Your father can do this, then fight a war and then go back home to give it hard to your mom making her scream all night in ecstasy!" the man answered with an evil smirk.

"KYAAAAAAAAAH!"

"What? You expected them to stop fucking once having you? Bad news, kiddo! They are probably having sex even now! So run or I will tell you the details!" Hanzou answered sadistically.

"KYAAAAAAAH! NOT THE DETAILS! FOR THE LOVE OF BRIMIR, NOT THE DETAILS!" the boy answered in hysterics.

Not far away Kirche was sitting at one of the tables with Tabitha and the girl's dragon Familiar while watching the class being tortured by the new PE Teacher of their school.

"Aah! See, Tabitha? This is the upside of nepotism! My Familiar is Professor Hanzou's son and we get a free-by to not take part to his lessons whenever we want." Kirche said with a delighted sigh.

"Still thinking it's unfair." the blue-haired girl replied shaking her head.

"Chocolate cake? I even had the Chefs add some extra chocolate cream on it." Louis asked smiling while bringing two HUGE slices to the girls.

"...Not so unfair anymore." Tabitha admitted as she accepted the treat.

"What's the plan for today?" the Umbra Wizard asked curious as he sat close to the red-haired bombshell.

"Shopping?" Kirche asked to her friend.

"Impossible." Tabitha answered simply.

"Why?"

"Your allowance will be renewed the day after tomorrow, so no further expenses until then."

"Does she keep your accountability?" Louis asked confused.

"Unable to properly handle money during sales season, I protect her wallet until it is over and I manage her expenses on a daily basis."

"Oooh! So she is totally unreliable with money!" the young man said with an understanding nod.

"Exactly."

"HEY! I am still here!" Kirche said pouting.

"Did I lie?" Tabitha asked reclining her head to the side.

"No, but-"

"Did I insinuate something not true?"

"No, but-"

"Did I insult you?"

"Not really, but-"

"Do you not need someone there to stop you from spending everything you have in a day?"

"Technically yes, but-"

"Then if I didn't lie where is the problem?"

"There isn't a problem, but-" Kirche tried saying.

"If there isn't then everything is okay." the blue-haired girl replied cutting her friend off again and then returning to enjoy her cake.

"...I hate you when you do that... _Tch_! Whatever!" the Germanian girl conceded huffing annoyed as a petite hand grabbed the side of their table in a weak, and yet desperate, hold.

"Why...You can...Skip this class...It's unfair...Ze-Zerbst." a new voice said panting loudly as the girl dragged herself up to sit with them.

"Yo! Louise-chan! How was PE with my pops?" Luis asked waving at her.

"Hell...On earth." she answered deflating boneless on the only free chair.

"Yeah, he tends to do that."

"Can I...Have some?" she pleaded while pointing at Tabitha's cake.

"Mine." the girl replied with narrowed eyes as she kept the dish closer to herself.

 _Sigh!_ "Okay, okay. I'll take some for you as well..." Luis muttered with a defeated sigh.

"Thank you." the pink-haired girl replied grateful.

"You know, little Louise? I really like your doll Familiar, very classy and well-crafted." Kirche admitted looking the small thing trying to cheer-up her master.

"Eh?" Louise muttered uncertain.

"Nice Familiar." Tabitha confirmed pointing at the small thing with her staff.

"Is that...A compliment?" the pinkette asked incredulous.

"Huhuhu! I may like to tease you, but it doesn't mean that I hate you. I am just trying to get you out of that shell of yours." the Germanian woman said hugging Louise to rub her cheek on the petite Noble's.

"Gedoff!" the pink-haired Mage whined pitifully without enough strength to actually get free from the bigger woman's hold on her.

"You should enjoy life more." she answered huffing.

"I do enjoy life!"

" _Pft_! You don't instead, is it because you follow that silly _**Rule of Steel**_ your mother always preaches about, don't you?"

"IT'S NOT SILLY!"

"Objectively, from her point of view, it is." Tabitha answered calmly.

"She has no self-control, that's why! At least I am not an animal slave of its instincts! I am a _proper_ lady, Zerbst!" Louise answered growling.

"I just know how to have fun and enjoy life, Valliere. But I know when to be serious too, you unfortunately seem unable to smile and have fun, and that's a pity because I think you are wasting yourself away like that." Kirche answered bitterly as she got up.

"LUIS!" she ordered.

"Here I am! Need something?" the Familiar answered rapidly returning to the red-haired woman's side.

"Let's go for a walk, I need it." she answered walking away.

"Okay, okay!...I'll try to make her calm down," the young man said leaving the new plate in front of Louise and then following his summoner.

"..."

"..."

"...Did I say something wrong?" Louise asked confused.

"Bad mood lately, she refuses to answer. She has a lot going-on apparently." Tabitha answered with a tiny sigh.

"A lot?"

"Family issues regarding heritage of unspecified ancestors."

"Oh..."

 **With Kirche and Luis -**

"You are too jumpy lately, Kirche-chan," Luis said sighing.

"My life turned upside-down and I discovered that there is a huge war that will probably explode and swallow everything at any moment...And that along Fire I have _**Void**_ Magic inside...And that apparently I am a god's descendant...All that stuff weights on a girl's mind." she answered hopeless.

"No-one is asking you to actually join that war _SHOULD_ it ever come to start, but you have to at least learn to use the Void as well, it's in your blood and as a part of you you have to cherish and nurture it."

"That's surprisingly deep coming from you," she said chuckling.

"Just like you, I know when to party and I know when to be serious." he answered patting her back.

"Hey, I know I am not supposed to tell a soul about my Elements, but what about Louise? Can I tell her? We both have Void Magic," Kirche asked.

"We should try asking Loki about that...You really like her, eh?"

"Huhuhu! I detest her mother though, that's why I try to make her enjoy life, I don't want her to turn into somebody like that." she answered shaking her head.

"Why you hate her mother?"

"I happened to meet her during a party when I was barely a kid just starting studying Magic with her father. One day we got an invitation to a small Gala and I was introduced to her and her husband, it was then that I started to feel pity for that blond young girl of their daughter accompanying them."

"That sad?"

"Terrible, just by looking at her you can tell that Karin " _The Heavy Wind"_ NEVER smiles, she is all ' _Serve the Crown at all costs!', 'Loyalty to the Queen above all else!'_ and all that tripe...I later learned that she used to hide being a woman while serving in the army and blindly follow every order she was given. I know that as a Noble I should aspire to become a woman like her, but she is single-minded, I bet she would strike down her own daughters should she find it necessary."

"Of that you can't be certain, maybe I the privacy of her home she is a decent woman. She might just be a huge Tsundere." Luis answered.

"But she is doing nothing to have people have a good impression of her; I just don't want Louise to grow-up with that image slapped to her name and face."

"She is not that bad..." a new voice muttered weakly.

"LOUISE!" Kirche said with wide eyes as she turned around to look at her.

"My mother is strict...But she never had us feel any lack of Love, she just wants us to give our best." the short girl said looking down.

"And the way she and your sister treat you? That is bordering on the mental abuse," the Germanian woman replied crossing her arms.

"You people mocking me is not so different from that." the other answered bitterly.

"I cannot deny that, but now that I know WHY you have those problems, I need to ask you to forgive me for what I used to say."

"Y-Y-You know why? You know why my Magic explodes?! Please! Please tell me!" Louise begged as rapid as a flash she appeared in front of Kirche to cling to her blouse with watering eyes.

"Whoa..." Luis muttered worried at the sheer despair filling her voice.

"I can't tell you, I am sorry." Kirche answered looking away.

"Why?" the short girl asked now crying openly and burying her face in the red-head's chest.

"Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?" she kept repeating between sobs.

"I am telling her, Luis." Kirche answered glaring at her Familiar.

 _Sigh!_ "Not here, let's go to the Pub at least. Just to be sure no-one will listen uninvited." the Umbran Familiar answered shaking his head in defeat.

"Okay,"

"Eh?" Louise asked with her already-red eyes locking with Kirche's.

"We are going to the meeting point of Luis' family, there we will talk more freely and I will answer every question you have, okay? Now stop crying." the Germanian said with a gentle smile while caressing her friend's head in affection.

"Okay."

 **Meanwhile – Kingdom of Gallia – throne room -**

The actual king of Gallia, Joseph, was calmly studying a giant map of Halkegina when a dark-haired, pale-skinned woman entered the room to kneel before him with her head held as low as possible.

"My master." she addressed the man with a tone of pure servitude.

"You bring me good news, I hope, Sheffield. I said I didn't want to be disturbed." Joseph said coldly without moving his eyes away from the map.

"I do, my Master. I contacted our spies: Both them and Wardes will move to keep under strict surveillance both Zerbst and Valliere Heiresses as you wish," the Human Familiar answered.

"...Good. I was almost certain Valliere was one as well, but her Familiar is still casting doubts on it while Zerbst own Human Familiar was unexpected...And you say he can Use Magic as well?" the man asked.

"He seems to have his own brand of it, but yes, it is Magic all the same." Sheffield answered.

"I really hope then that our spies WON'T talk or be discovered, for your own sake."

"They are our best men, Master! Nothing will go wrong!" the Human Familiar answered immediately.

"Very well, have the men stick close to them and report every movement of the two pests. As soon as the occasion presents itself I want you to kidnap both and bring them here, like that we'll see if either of them really is a Void Mage. Dismissed."

"Yes, Master." the woman answered as she got up to carry on her orders.

 **At the same time – with Hanzou – back in Tristain Academy -**

"Very good, it was way less pathetic than yesterday. Now get up, wash your face, change clothes and hurry up to your next lesson. Keep this up and MAYBE we will do something worthwhile instead of simple warming exercises." Hanzou said clapping his hands to address the exhausted class in front of him.

"T-This was just...Just warm-up?" a girl asked in horror-filled disbelief.

"Oooh, Yes! This was nothing serious, now MOVE YOUR ASSES!" the Kage of Rain Village barked in answer making his students scamper away just in case he felt the need of training them further.

"Pfe! Sacks of lard, an Academy student could run laps around them all day...I pity their society if those are the ones that will take charge of it in the future." the man said snarling as he walked back towards his quarters.

"Another hard day of work?" Professor Chevreuse asked as she met the man on the stairs for the Professors' rooms.

"Considering the material I am working with, any advancement is akin to a miracle," Hanzou answered scoffing.

"Be patient, you are just helping them being healthy, not creating an army." the plump woman answered chuckling while walking away.

"And I am doing just that, it is not my fault if you people have very low standards compared to the Elemental Nations." he grumbled to himself in answer as he entered his room.

Once inside the privacy of the small bedroom the man summoned and jumped inside the Hell Portal connecting it to the Umbra Clan Pub back in Rain, and once there, a small **Shunshin** brought the man known a ' _The Salamander'_ in front of a secret room of the Village's T &I Department he had kept for his own personal use.

"Hanzou-sama! Welcome!" the head of the Department said as soon as the Kage entered his office.

"Has my Guest talked? The one in my private room." Hanzou asked immediately.

"Aaah! Prisoner 664, that outsider spy...Very tough man that one, took slightly longer than usual,"

"But?"

"But as always they all talk if enough pain is inflicted, I personally took care of him since you didn't want people outside of you and the Umbra Clan to know about him being here." the Head Torturer answered pleased with himself.

"Huhuhu! This is why I asked you to take care of this, Togane, you never displeased me ever since I became the Leader of Rain and I personally put you here...Let's go talk with our friend, shall we?"

"As you wish, Hanzou-sama." Togane answered bowing as both men walked towards the Halkeginian spy in their care.

"Curious language theirs, but once asked to Jeanne-san she managed to have the guy speak in a way we could understand, she refused to tell us how she did it though,"

"That woman as a _Magic Touch_ for certain things, but I wouldn't worry about the details if I were you," Hanzou answered waving the man off.

"Of course, sir. Here he is." Togane answered opening the door of the cell holding what seemed to be a mass of minced meat shaped like a human.

"I was told you were now open to answer our questions...am I right?" the Kage of Rain Village asked with cruel amusement.

"P-P-Please let me go..." the giant bruise of a man pleaded with a broken, scared voice.

"You will be set free once we are satisfied. Here is what he told me before your arrival," Togane answered uninterested as he handed a thick folder to Hanzou.

"Let's start from the basics...Why don't you tell me something about this _Reconquista_ group that you work for, boy?" the Leader asked with his eyes almost drilling a hole in the spy's soul making him whimper.

"O-O-Okay...J-Just stop hurting me..." the man answered swallowing hard.

"Just pray that I will deem what you said useful then, I hate wasting time." Hanzou answered chuckling darkly as the spy started telling everything he knew.

 **One hour later - ' _Naraka Club'_ Pub - **

The members of the Umbra Clan were watching as Louise de la Valliere kept chugging down ' _shotties'_ (small ' _shot glasses'_ ) of Rodin's strongest booze in her drinking contest against Kirche as the two witches kept exchanging glares and confessions as the strong alcohol seemed the only thing helping Louise to at least consider what was being told.

"I-I-I... _Hic!_ I can't be ho...olhd...I don't have the Void Element inside! It's Imposs...Impross...It can not be!" the short girl slurred.

"Why not? _Hic!_ Waddya sayin'? thatta Imma a liar?" Kirche answered with narrowed eyes and swaying dangerously on her seat.

"You have it all! You have big boobs, nice ass, a cool Familiar and people love you! What do I have?" Louise asked emptying a new glass before glaring at the woman.

"I do like ya! You are petite and pretty, and your skin is smooth!" Kirche admitted while pointing a finger the that other girl's face.

"S-S- _S_ _hm_ _ood_ _t_ _h_?" the Valliere girl answered giggling.

"You are drunk!" Zerbst said laughing.

"You are more drunk than me!...You really like me?"

"I do love ya!" _**SLAM!**_ "I want to cuddle you like a teddy-bear!" Kirche answered nodding until she fell forward slamming her face on the table.

"But I have no boobs!" the pinkette said whining.

"But I bet that in exchange you have a delicious puss-"

"OKAY! That's enough drinking!" Luis yelled barging in the discussion to take away the bottles making the girls whine.

"You really think so?" Louise asked actually sounding touched by the admission.

" _Yessssh_!" Kirche answered staggering around the table to hug the girl.

"Can you call me ' _Big Sister'_? I always wanted you to call me ' _Big Sister'_!" the Germanian girl added.

"Big sis...You are _sho_ warm..." Louise muttered hiccuping while burying her face in the other girl's cleavage.

"...I don't know if I should go ' _Awww!'_ or just find it damn erotic." Luis muttered unsure.

"Both, definitely both." Tenten answered.

"And you are so damn cute!" Kirche said kissing Louise's forehead.

"Do I really have Void Magic? That's why I make expl...exopl...poelx...things go _Boom_?"

"Yep! We can help you as well, don't worry." Jeanne said sighing in annoyance.

"What do you mean?" Loki hissed with a low voice.

"She may be a descendant of you evil half, but you saw her, she needs someone believing in her. If we help her resolve her problems with Magic, I bet she will become a nice girl." Luis answered patting the kid's back.

"I have my doubts, mate. But I'll give you the benefit of the doubt."

"HEY, LUIS! Take us home! I want to cuddle with Louise until I get better!" Kirche said as both rose from their seat to stand on shaking legs.

"Can I?" the short girl pleaded with a tiny, cute voice.

"Only if I can snuggle between you two myself," the Umbran Familiar replied smirking.

"Yay! Big brother is joining!" Louise cheered happily as she dove in the platinum-haired young man's arms.

"Oh, god! She smells like a distillery!" Luis moaned gagging in disgust.

"With all the stuff those two drank, it's a miracle they are still alive..." Rodin answered looking at the pile of empty bottles with a defeated expression.

"Uuuhm! Big brother is warm too..." the Valliere girl muttered snuggling in Luis' chest with a content smile.

"Big Brother?" Bayonetta asked snorting.

"Considering Kirche is my ' _Master'_ and she is her _Big Sister_ , it makes sense." Luis answered shrugging.

"Uuuuhm!...Big brother…this is even warmer…"

"NGH!" the Familiar groaned as the deceptively small hands of Louise closed with an iron grip around his privates through his jumpsuit.

"HEY! THAT'S MINE! AS HIS MASTER I CALL DIBS!" Kirche said stumbling to pry Louise off.

"Big Brother?" the pink-haired girl begged while looking all-the-way up to the face of the taller young man with big cute eyes.

"Yes?" he groaned in answer as the grip on his junk grew even more in power.

"Can you use this on me? I want you to do - _ **CENSORED-**_ and - _ **CENSORED-**_ and - _ **CENSORED-**_ to me! Pwease?" Louise begged with her cutest voice and expression.

"..." No-one dared to talk as the shocked silence grew longer and longer while every eye present slowly went wider and wider.

"COME ON! I AM VERY FLEX...FXEL...I BEND EASILY!" the short girl said whining while her hand moved up and down.

"H-H-HELP!" Luis shrieked in pain.

"HANDS DOWN!" Kirche yelled in anger.

"NO! I WANT BIG BROTHER AND BIG SISTER TO FU- _GUEH!_ " the discussion fell short when Kimimarou gave two rapid chops to the back of both girls' neck making them slump down unconscious.

"Thank you, Kimimarou! She was about to tear it off!" Luis panted in gratitude.

"I am sorry I didn't act sooner, Luis-sama." the Bone User answered with a small bow.

 _Sniff! Sniff!_ "I smell booze, the discussion went well then?" Hanzou asked as he entered the pub.

"She seems to have took it well, as soon as the hang-over has passed she will start the same training of Kirche, like that those two will hopefully not do damages," Jeanne answered.

"Very well, in the meantime I have good and bad news. It's a new bit of info about the political mess of their world," the Kage of Rain said while Luka momentarily dragged the two Noble girls in a corner so to not wake them up.

"That bad?" Rodin asked.

"Not much, especially if we start making preparations soon, but we still have to be careful all the same," Hanzou answered taking one of the half-empty bottles and emptying in a single gulp once lowered his mask for an instant.

"Don't tell me, World Domination?" Luka asked groaning in disbelief.

"Just a bit of that, plus a dash of Genocide and probably even more yet to come, depending on what the next spy I catch will have to say." the _Salamander_ answered.

"Oooh, Fuck!" was the chorused, unanimous answer of the Umbra Clan.

"Yes, I said the same thing."

"Haku go take some more alcohol, I feel we will need it." Luis said pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Right away, Luis-sama."

 **The next Day – Vestri Court – right after breakfast -**

It was a curious sight watching Kirche's Familiar explaining to both Irukuku and Tabitha the rules of ' _Rock, Paper, Scissor'_ and then talk both Noble and Dragon Familiar into playing with him, and yet, it had been an hour since they started and the three were still lightly bumping their fist on their open palm twice before showing their sign until two voices screamed in horror at the same time.

"KYYYYYYYAAAAAAAH!" several windows also fell victim to the scream as they exploded to dust.

"They woke-up." Tabitha said once showed her ' _paper'_ making her dragon whine at being defeated.

"Kyuu, next time Irukuku will play scissor then!" the Familiar said managing a pout.

"Never tell others what you will use. And anyway, you think they will be mad?" Luis answered amused.

"You put them in the same bed while wearing only their underwear." the kuudere girl answered with a plain tone.

"So it's a yes?"

"...It's a maybe." she answered after a short pause of thought.

"Oh!"

"You didn't take liberties, right?"

"You mean if I wanked a couple of times while watching their almost-naked, supple nubile bodies lie there defenseless? 'Cause I didn't." the Umbran Mage said smirking.

"...Too many details." Tabitha answered while burying her face in her ever-present book.

"I could give you so many multiple screaming orgasms if only you could just ask..." the Wizard muttered with burning eyes.

"You wha-"

"Morning!" Kirche said with a strained smile as she and Louise sat at the same table trying to not look at each other.

"Sssh! Do not scream, I beg you." Louise whispered clutching her head in agony.

"Tabitha? You okay?" Kirche asked curious.

"Yes." the girl answered even more coldly than usual.

"What have you done?" the fiery Noble asked to her Familiar whispering.

"I am trying to break that ' _kuudere'_ attitude of hers and remove that pole she has up her ass through blunt, shock therapy." he whispered back.

"...As long as you do not break her or try to put your ' _Pole'_ up there," she answered sighing.

"I can control myself, thank you." the Familiar huffed offended.

"So I really have...THAT Element? What now?" Louise finally asked.

"Element?" Tabitha asked.

"Classified Information, Tabitha. Now we train, Louise. Now we train HARD." Kirche answered groaning

"...Not with Professor Hanzou...right?" the petite mage begged.

"With the whole Umbra Clan, Louise-chan...So with my father as well."

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" a long cry of despair came as an answer.

 **At the same time -**

"Aah! Here too people are starting to cry like babies at the mere mentioning of my name, wonderful." Hanzou said in pride while sitting at breakfast with the other professors.

"Hurray..." Chevreuse muttered with a fake smile as she and the others moved their chairs slightly away from the man.

"How can you tell it is because of you?" Miss Longueville couldn't help but ask.

"After years of listening to this, I can recognize this sweet music everywhere." the Kage answered with a blood-chilling cruel chuckle.

Once again chairs where moved a bit away to leave more space between the professors and Hanzou while Colbert's hands started trembling violently as a form of relapse of his trauma.

 **Later that night – Corridors outside the students' rooms – It contains strong images -**

Henrietta De Tristain, de-facto ruler of the country since her dearest mother falling into illness at the death of her husband was silently moving through the dark corridors of the school to look for Louise's room accompanied by her ever-present Musketeer Captain Agnes.

"I can't see why you couldn't let me deliver this message myself, your Highness." the woman whispered once again.

"Because I have known Louise ever since we were mere children, if I have to entrust such important mission to her I want to be the one telling her, personally." Henrietta answered with a tone of finality showing that she had grew tired of the woman constant telling her that.

"I am sorry, Princess Henrietta." Agnes answered bowing her head.

"But what about the Zerbst girl? The Headmaster confirmed she too has a Void Familiar...Shouldn't we ask her too? She may be of help, even if she is of Germanian descent." she then asked.

"...I would prefer to not involve too many people in this," the young woman finally answered unsure as she started lightly biting her lip.

"I understand, your Highness."

"..."

"...But I also can't put this whole weight on Louise's shoulders alone, and Miss Zerbst's Familiar seems to be indeed powerful...his own father Professor Hanzou himself is a man of terrifying abilities from what I am told..." the Princess then said unsure.

"Your Highness?" Agnes asked unsure.

 _Sigh!_ "We will ask Miss Zerbst too to join Louise. But we will give her _Less_ details, just in case." Henrietta answered stopping in front of Kirche's bedroom door.

"Am I presentable?" she asked curious.

"...Yes...You are the perfect Princess going on a secret Mission." Agnes answered in a deadpan flying clearly above the Princess' head.

"Good! _Ahem!_ " the other answered clearing her throat and straightening her shoulders before opening the door-

" _OH GOD, LUIS! THERE! THERE!"_

And slamming it closed immediately after with her and Agnes' face burning dark-red.

"Maybe I should have knocked, it is common courtesy to not barge in other people's room." Henrietta said weakly.

"Yes, your Highness...At least to give Miss Zerbst and her Familiar time to get dressed, or to at least cover themselves.

"Who do you think was that girl with them with the hair tied into buns?" Henrietta asked mildly curious.

"To be honest I couldn't tell she had her hair in buns since her head was..." _Gulp!_ "Deeply buried between Miss Zerbst legs..." Agnes answered unsure.

"I must admit that that Familiar must be really good at _multi-tasking_ to handle two women like that..."

"Yep..." Agnes answered awkwardly as they fell into a long uncomfortable silence where they could finally hear the noise of the three going at it in hunger now that whatever spell that was keeping the room silent came undone.

"W-W-Well, I-It's getting late! So in order to not waste further time I will go talk to Louise myself while you talk to Miss Zerbst!" Henrietta said with her face looking still very red.

"WHAT?!" Agned answered with a loud whispering.

"I-I-I have to go in there, your Highness?! _Alone_?" she asked with wide eyes.

"Y-You are an adult woman and I trust you, you just need to-to-to make them pause long enough for you to explain what I need them to do! F-Five minutes and you'll be done!" Henrietta answered rapidly walking away.

"But-"

"I trust you! Godspeed, Agnes!" the other answered walking even faster.

"...Dammit..." the Musketeer Captain cursed lowly while taking a deep breath.

"You can do this, Agnes! You are a soldier! A captain! You saw war and battles! You saw rebels being beaten back and hunted down bandits! Some sex won't scare you!...Even if the last naked man you saw was of your nephew three years ago when he was born...After years of lonely, cold nights spent always alone by yourself." she said to herself before deflating a little towards the end.

"NO! I can do this! I. CAN. DO. THIS!" the Captain said in determination as she opened the door.

" _AAAAAAAAHN!_ "

 _ **SLAM!**_

"NO! I. CAN'T. DO. THIS!" the blushing woman replied.

" _Oh, Founder! Now she is riding him while that other girl is sitting on his face getting eaten-out! AND THOSE TWO WOMEN ARE KISSING EACH OTHER!_ " she then mentally added whining.

Another deep breath and…

"I AM!"

" _AAAAHN!"_

 _ **SLAM!**_ the two naked girls were hugging each other as he kept thrusting inside them savagely.

"AGNES!"

" _AAAAHN!"_

 _ **SLAM!**_

"MUSKETEER CAPTAIN!"

" _AAAAHN!"_

 _ **SLAM!**_

"OF HER MAJESTY!"

" _AAAAHN!"_

 _ **SLAM!**_ the two naked girls were smashing their breast together while trapping the Familiar's penis between them to pump up and down while licking its tip.

"HENRIETTA DE TRISTAIN!"

" _AAAAHN!"_

 _ **SLAM!**_

"AND I AM HERE!"

" _AAAAHN!"_ Now the Familiar was thrusting inside Zerbst's butthole while the young woman kept eating-out the bun-haired girl.

 _ **SLAM!**_

"BY ORDER OF HER MAJESTY…"

It will take two hours for Agnes to give Kirche and Luis the full message as she kept opening the door, yell part of her message at high speed and then close the door to not see too much; the other students simply covered their ears to not hear as apparently it was Secret Royal Family affairs and didn't want to get into trouble to eavesdrop, and also didn't want to hear Luis and Kirche's latest escapade, especially since if going by Kirche's ' _colourful'_ commentary the Familiar was doing a stellar job at pleasing her and another mysterious girl at the same time.

And the male half of the student population really wanted to salvage as much ' _Male Pride'_ as they could since they knew that for a _**looong**_ time starting the next day they will be put in comparison to the Umbra boy either openly or in secret, and they were actually afraid of being found lacking.

 **Chapter 3 is done! No Omake this time, I like to think of being able to make funny ones so if I don't think that the one I am writing IS funny to read, I won't post it ^ ^.**

 **Next chapter will cover Familiar Fair and the start of Wardes Arc.**

 **As you may have noticed I am acting nice with Louise, well, I decided to be good with her so both here and in "OP Familiar" I will tone-down my ribbing as I am growing bored of bashing so I think it's time Louise-chan too gets a better treatment like I started doing with Sasuke in my later stories.**

 **Should I use the "Lust Storm" gimmick here as well? (The readers of the first Umbra Wizard Story should know what I am talking about XD) please let me know.**

 **Sorry if the chapter was a little let-down, but Fillers always are XD it's a necessary Evil!**

 **Thank you for reading me, I hope you enjoyed my work! I will see you around the Internet!**

 **BYEEEEEEEE!**

 **Tr230.**


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